King Waka's Korner: Crazy Mat Men

Funny times on the South Coast, whilst I had to work, the SCUMM were at Play.

A few words from Terry Towelling

Terry Toweling
pic by Justin Spittle

Justin wanted to paddle out at 5.30am … like in the morning … So I picked up The Tofunator at 4.00 am … in the morning. Johnny was ready and waiting with Splash the Wonder Hound when I pulled up in his driveway. After John gave Splash a quick goodbye smooch we were off to Erics. All was well until my Sat Nav thingy decided to update just before Nowra - oops; I only had a vague idea where Eric lived and John was still dreaming about the smooch with Splash. Brainwave: “I know! We will just drive around North Nowra till we find him! I remember something about a church!” Luckily, we found him running naked down the street in just a pair of Crocs. We bundled him into the car and headed off. The trip was quick and hilarious with Eric giving us a guided tour of his medical procedures … We were frightened … At 5.30am, almost on the dot, we arrived at Gilligans and bolted to the lookout. YES YES YES! Perfect and hardly a soul in the water, just our mate Justin on his mat. Oh yes, there was also a SUP … hmmmmmm, he wont last long. When Paul turned up we changed in record time and bolted down the track. We had a couple of 4gf’s, a Krypt and a belly board. What could go wrong?We did the long paddle out over the shark pit until at last we made it to the breaking waves. WOW. It was perfect: long, long perfect peeling lefts that went for ever. Perfect for SCUMM like us. We were getting the waves of our lives. I am pretty new at this Mat caper but managed to score a couple of nice ones. Justin, Paul, Eric and Johnny were amazing: massive turns and speed runs galore were the order of the day. It was amazing, classic surf, beautiful clear water and even some dolphins. Once Justin took down the SUP you couldn’t ask for more. To top it all off, I managed to jag the most perfect mat wave of my entire life. I stayed high, kept a good line and didn't get caught in the white water. I was SUPER SUPER STOKED. You couldn't have wiped the grin off my face if you’d tried. After we could surf no more, we retired to Pilgrims and had an epic breaky, where we relived each and every wave in minute detail. Perhaps there was a bit of exaggeration, I don’t know, but no one cared a bit. Coz we are SCUMM.

pic by Justin Spittle

Pic’s by Eric da Bolt

Terry above and below with Paul, John and Justin

Tofu’s Corner

4am !?!?!? But I just got pissed and SOOO stoned with a German lady shaper !!! Next thing I knew Terry Toweling was outside my bedroom window, then we were off the get lost on the way to pick up Eric the Crocs wearing peddo'. Job eventually done we materialized at Gilligan's, or that's what it felt like to me.............exept for the constant ramblings from the back seat. Just Spit was in the water already, then Oily emerged from the Ladies toilets (not sure why) and it was on. Wave after wave was finessed into submission by a 4GF mat, a Krypt mat or my Brown Dogg Bellyboard that I really wanted to try out at Gilligan's. SOOOOOOO good out there ! And then when we couldn't flip anymore, it was time to chow-down at Pilgrims. By the time we'd finished it looked like we were trying to steal food, we had that much of it on our faces. Windows down and heads out the windows on the drive home 'cause Eric was doing a pretty good impression of a faulty gas-works. As we drove along the country roads, birds fell dead out of the trees. I celebrated by scoring free stickers for the lads. After all........I AM Johnny Tofu. And bye the way, MATS are where it's at Baby, and THAT'S the Cherry Truth.

John riding his belly glider, pic’s by Justin Spittle

I think John tried to shave your legs for you Paul Newman, Johnny got banished to the sin bin after riding over Pauls legs!

Johnny eating his namesake…the Tofu Burger

Village Idiots, Milton

Justin Spittle

‘sorry mate, didn’t see ya

Mat Man VS SUP ?

camera got knocked at end so unable to see his face but was gold. His quote "yer ya did". Yep’!!

more Tofu Burgers

Paul Newman

pic by Justin Spittle

Paul put together some great vision from his Go Pro camera, many thanks!

Lets Slide @ Gilligans from Bulkheads Stuff on Vimeo.

Eric da Bolt

Gee the boys are late I wonder what has happened?. Seems their GPS which is how they find their way around, had decided to do an update half way there its, YEP lost again. So its off to the island and yes Tezza I will be the navigator. Arrived at 5.30 am to find the enforcer out and 3 other. The waves are glassy and pumping. Oily soon arrives and its mat men against the rabble. After 2 hours of fun and with only a couple of hassles which were soon taken care of by the “Maroubra Enforcer”, the crowd got to the kaos stage and before blood was spilt we headed of for the best time of the day FOODTIME. The enforcer refused to share his ham wraps, instead he handed over some energy giving liquorish, “just-in” time. What do ya mean we are going to a Vego café?...well I hope they have chips, I mean potatoes are a vegetable, but NO. Only alpha sprouts and tofu. Luckily for us meat eaters the vegie burgers were fine, the coffee was great and the “Free” vanilla frappe sure hit the spot. It was then off home as our mascot Splash the wonder hound had escaped again and Johnny needed to round him up. After an early rise, a good surf and some fine food “little johnny tofu” decided it was nap time. Soon the sound of snoring echoed thru Tezza’s surf mobile, drowning out Pink Floyds “wish you were here”. A great scummday for sure...

Pictured below with Justin